you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
