he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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