He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My first STD was from a foam party
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
