Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
