Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
false alarm, still single
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