id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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