Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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