my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
