Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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