Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
