So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Shame is for Republicans.
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