how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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