i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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