I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
These tits shall not be calmed
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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