the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
