if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
