found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
