i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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