I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
