I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
