I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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