Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
