everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
