cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
someone owes me an orgasm
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
