I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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