I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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