So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize