I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
