is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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