a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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