Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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