I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think a kid would responsible me up
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
