stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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