you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
