It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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