I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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