it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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