I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
