I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
