Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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