it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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