How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
