idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
