at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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