Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize