went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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