he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
