guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
