For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize