So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
