We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
