i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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