I can tuck mytits in my pants
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
