Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
do nipples grow back?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
