You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
