if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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