I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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