You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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