That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
