if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
