Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
